Friday, September 28, 2007

Missing Bees Found in Georgia Man's Garage.....

Augusta, GA-After over a year of intense debate, and a number of red herrings, the missing honey bees that have threatened the food supply for the entire nation were finally discovered today in the garage of Augusta, GA resident Richard Lombards.

"This is an amazing disovery, and one that has a lot of farmers around this country breathing a sigh of relief," Apiologist Tom Wadlington explained. "We had been focusing on infectious etiologies up till now although a number of alternative explanations had been proposed such as the bee rapture, cell phones and alien abduction. Nobody saw this coming."

Mr. Lombards was taken into custody by a federal beekeeping task force soon after the massive swarm of bees, estimated to be several million in number, was located. Prior to this departure he revealed "I swear I don't know how those bees got in the garage. I was in here like 5 minutes ago and the place was empty." A number of jars of homemade honey were found at the scene.

A curious history of Lombard's involvement with bees has already begun to emerge and it has come to light that he was once spurned by the admissions committee of a number of apiary training programs for poor grades and a prior felony arrest for bee trafficking. Mr. Lombards faces very serious charges of beenapping, which could result in a long prison sentence. He will be represented by Harry Winston, the defense attorney in a number of high profile missing animal cases in the past.


Moof said...

Mr. Knudsen! I'm so relieved that they were able to nab this vile criminal! I can't imagine why anyone would want to do such a thing!


Well, maybe this will finally buzz some sense into the multitudes who were expecting a bee rapture.

I did think that the alien theory might have had a bit of merit, though ... after seeing those gnarly buggers on ID4, I think they could use some sweeting up!

Chrysalis Angel said...

Bee trafficking is such a heinous crime, I don't know how the man can live with himself. What's to become of the honey supply in the wake of these terrible criminals.