Franklin, TN-Suburban housewife Katherin Cortez effectively ended the growing threat of global warming today by recycling a partially filled can of Diet Shasta.
Climatologist Cliff Bankston has been tracking the effects of the recycled aluminum soft drink container. "Glaciers are reforming, mean temperatures are plummeting and atmospheric carbon dioxide levels are stabilizing, and in some areas even trending sharply down. This is why recycling programs were started in the first place, that is, to alter the global climate like this."
"I was just trying to do my part for the environments," Ms. Cortez explains. "Think globally and act locally you know. One person can make a difference." Not satisfied with the ending of one of the single greatest threats to mankind's existence, Ms. Cortez has now set her sights on curing breast cancer by wearing a pink ribbon lapel pin.