St. Louis, MO-Scientists at the Monsanto Company's Rice Research Institute announced today that their efforts to bioengineer a new kind of rice, one that is resistant to the effects of extreme weather, have been successful.
"This new crop will revolutionize the way rice is grown around the world, particularly in Asia where around three billion people depend on it to survive," Monsanto CEO Hugh Grant explained. "This monumental achievement will become even more important on a global scale as climate change leads to more and more extreme weather."
Johnny Moseley, Olympic gold medalist in men's freestyle skiing and legendary X-Games competitor, has signed on to promote Monsanto's new product around the world. "When I first heard about Monsanto's rad new product X-Treme Rice, I just had to be involved because being extreme is what I'm all about to the extreme. And the more I learned about this totally in your face product the more stoked I became. But seriously, global warming is not cool."