Brussels, Belgium-In a press conference held today in a Brussels La Quinta Inn, an expert panel from the European Union's food safety Division announced that meat and milk from cloned animals is probably safe but may be catastrophically deadly.
"The preliminary data is pretty solid and there just doesn't appear to be a middle ground here," Belgian food scientist Dietger Goosens explained. "It is very unlikely that clones or their progeny would add any additional food safety risks beyond that of conventionally bred animals, but they may result in the untimely death of literally millions of humans worldwide. And I'm talking about horrible, painful deaths, the kind where you're all bloated and slimy."
The panel, which consisted of 15 scientists and a representative from both the Center for Food Safety and the American Meat Institute, expressed delight over the possibility of allowing such products into the market because of the economic benefits and greater availability of higher quality meat. But they cautioned the gathered government representatives and La Quinta staff that they might possibly come to regret the decision once large mass graves are being dug to accommodate the ever growing number of dead consumers around the world.