Monday, February 25, 2008

Experts Warn Some Sex Education Teachers Lack Expertise.....

Otterville, IL-According to researchers from the Illinois branch of the Captain Abstinence Institute of Studies in Mexico(CAISM), a nonpartisan organization dedicated to applying sound science to the study of abstinence as a means of preventing unsafe sexual practices, a growing number of sexual education teachers are failing to cover the basics of appropriate instruction.

A recent study performed by CAISM, which involved a scientifically designed telephone survey of former students of sex ed teachers at over 200 Illinois schools, revealed that more than a quarter of instructors did not meet sound scientific standards of sexual education as defined by CAISM. And many teachers may have no special training in sexual education of students.

"We really set the bar for high for this study," lead researcher Doctor Clemp Shook explained. "We didn't want this to end up as just another study that so-called experts and skeptics claim has bad methodology and flawed conclusions. It's unfortunate to report, but the evidence is conclusive that up to one out of three programs possibly fails to meet our standards."

The researchers warn that teenagers may need to help filling the large gaps in their sexual education, and unlearning the misinformation picked up in some classes. According to Shook and his team at CAISM, many of today's students are learning a number of medical myths as fact. To aid in the education of young adults, CAISM has published a pamphlet discussing these myths and providing the information to dispel them.

Here is just a sample of the scientifically based information included in the pamphlet:

"Myth #1
Condoms prevent STD's.

Reality
Condoms actually increase the risk of acquiring an STD. Studies done at the Captain Abstinence Institute of Studies in Mexico(CAISM) have conclusively proven that condom use leads to a 1 in 5 chance of being infected with HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and HPV regardless of whether your partner is infected with any of these diseases.

Myth #2
Condoms prevent pregnancy.

Reality
Despite what your doctor or teacher may have told you, condoms do not prevent pregnancy. In fact, experiments performed at the CAISM have revealed that condom use actually makes a woman more likely to become pregnant with the resulting child likely to be retarded.

Myth #3
God says it's okay to use condoms, IUD's, OCP's or other birth control methods.

Reality
This is quite false. Scientific studies of the bible have shown beyond doubt that non-abstinence birth control methods anger God and are a one way ticket to eternal torment in a lake of fire. This is not a religious statement but is a scientifically verified fact.

Myth #4
It's okay to have sex once you are married.

Reality
While pre-marital and extra-marital sex are clearly sins worthy of a endless cycle of pain and regret, many people are unsure when it comes to intercourse with their spouse. The answer, revealed in our labs at the CAISM, is that sex is never okay if physical or psychological enjoyment results. Only when sex has been reduced to a disgusting physical act necessary only for the furthering of our species, but otherwise despised, is it okay in the eyes of the Lord.

3 comments:

proudskater1 said...

knudsen you are a complete jackass! this is the worst article on sex ed. i have ever read. it is only full of false information that you are using to fuel your agenda. you are truly a modern day puritan, good job on taking the word of the bible and twisting it any way you can. im guessing you are so turned off by sex, even the morally just marital sex, because youve never had sex in the first place!

nonstopaction said...

yea I totally agree with "proudskater1" I would love to know where you got all of your bullshit info.

Zoo Knudsen said...

My info comes directly from CAISM, which has impeccable credentials. Many of the scientists there have degrees. Some from 2-4 year colleges! I stand by this info and its source. Anyone who reads me regularly knows how highly I record the inspired word of God found in the Bible, the holiest and most scientifically accurate of texts. I believe it can be found in most bookstores.

Off the record, I have had sex, once, as a cub reporter for the Maynardville Gazelle. It was for a story I was researching on the after hours lusty lives of local librarians.

I think it's still on microfiche in the town library. The pictorial was unfortunately banned because of its frank portrayal of the sensual nature of the Dewey Decimal Classification System.