San Francisco, CA-Still reeling from the February 3rd discovery of comet Chen-Gao, the international community of astrologers have forgotten their long running differences to ask that amateur and professional astronomers stop discovering new celestial objects.
"It is frustrating knowing that every few weeks we have to completely rewrite our charts because somebody with a telescope in their backyard wanted to be famous," Intenational Society for Astrological Research spokesperson Warrick Gerges explained. "Every time a new comet, asteroid, or dwarf planet is discovered we have to start from scratch."
Astrologers aren't the only ones interested in curbing the seemingly unstoppable advance of our understanding of the universe and the cataloguing of astronomical objects. Newspaper editors spend many sleepless nights worrying over these discoveries. New York Times astrology editor Edward Wang has had to stop the presses several times because of newly found future altering entities. "What keeps me up at night is the fear that one day an edition of this paper is going to go out with readings based on old information. Eventually it's going to happen, and someone is going to end up getting hurt waiting for an exciting business opportunity or a compliment from a co-worker that isn't really going to come."