Monday, March 31, 2008

Teen Scientist Studies Social Consequences of Early Sexual Debut.....

Montgomery, AL-In an emergency school assembly, held today in the auditorium of Shady Acres High School, 16-year-old junior Clancy Eversoll announced the conclusion of his semester long study of the social implications of early sexual debut among female students for the upcoming annual Science Fair.

"My work conclusively supports the hypothesis that early sexual debut, which is the initiation of sexual activity at an age less than 15 years, is associated with increased popularity and a higher likelihood of being invited to Senior Prom," Eversoll explained.

The results, though scoffed at by both the faculty, and members of the Chess, Audio/Visual, and MMORPG clubs, has already led to unprecedented interest in science amongst student populations not typically involved in the subject. Sophomore Matt McCowen, second-string tight end for the Shady Acres Mighty Sasquatch, is excited about his plans to replicate Eversoll's study. "Science is about the process, not the conclusion. I plan on following Clancy's methodology exactly and I'll accept the outcome whatever it is. And if that outcome helps me doink some freshman girls then I'm pretty much okay with that."

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