Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Jolie-Pitt Twins Sign Historic Intrauterine Movie Deal.....

Nice, France-As the exciting news of Angelina Jolie's admission to Lenval Hospital's Santa Maria maternity clinic in Southern France is uniting the world in celebration, Jolie's physician and representatives from Universal Pictures held a press conference today to announce a historic movie deal.

"This is the first time that any fetus, let alone premature twins, have signed with a major motion picture company," Universal president Ronald Meyer explained. "This kind of thing may happen all the time at the Sundance Institute, but those fetuses pale in genetic comparison to our newest stars."

Staff maternal-fetal medicine specialist Mort Fishman, also in attendance today, expressed some reservations about exposing such immature neonates to the stresses of a Hollywood lifestyle. "I admit that when filming for their first picture, "The Parent Trap V: This Time It's Placental", began at the 20-week ultrasound, I got caught up in all of the glitz and glammer. But as a physician I have to question whether this will continue to be in the best interest of the twins, or the studio, once birth has taken place considering their likely deficiency in pulmonary surfactant and the flat and lifeless lighting from the phototherapy."

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