Washington, D.C.- In response to concerns raised by American citizens after announcing the development of giant robot space spiders in August, NASA scientists held a press conference today to calm fears of any possible humanity threatening implications.
"We would like to reassure all Americans, and the global community, that there is almost no chance that an army of robot spiders with near limitless artificial intelligence is going to wipe out all organic life in the galaxy," lead developer Samuel Jones explained. "The spiders are simply here to help us and have no interest whatsoever in our delicious mineral resources."
If anything, according to NASA administrator Andrew Cooper III, the sentient mechanical juggernauts are beginning to show human tendencies towards reason, compassion and the development of highly advanced weaponry. "You know, I wouldn't have believed it when this project first got off the ground, but these gentle examples of the true power of human scientific ingenuity actually volunteered to help run the computer simulations that prove they will never harvest our bodies for energy. They seem eager to learn all about us, an unexpected trait that we at NASA find simply adorable."
Monday, September 9, 2013
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