|A Louisiana Catahoula Leopard dog puppy prior to choosing to be gay|
"I believe that the Bible should dictate how we groom animals," local Christian dog groomer Ventress Witherspoon explained. "The Bible reveals God's wisdom with all things, be they how short to clip a Havanese, how often to express anal glands, and how gay dogs can just stay at home where they belong."
This is not the only law being discussed during the current legislative session that is raising concerns among the state's more liberal demographic. Louisiana gay human Max Remingsteele III, one of almost a hundred gay humans in the state, is worried that religious conservatives are trying to take animal rights back over a quarter century:
"It isn't just about gay dogs. Gay possums, alligators, grass snakes and pelicans all face potential hardships should the current slate of anti-gay animal bills reach Governor Bobby Jindal's desk for signature. And that goofball will sign anything."Also being debated during the coming weeks are bills that would put restrictions on gay cat adoptions and force pet owners to obtain special gay animal tags. Special walking times for gay dogs would also be enforced. Furthermore, owners would be required to carry a large sign while walking their gay dog that warns any nearby parents to keep their children at least one hundred feet away to avoid any accidental exposure to gay stuff.