Knoxville, TN- Baffled by the recent total lunar eclipse, during which the alignment of the full moon with the innermost portion of the Earth's shadow resulted in a reddish appearance or "blood moon", cosmetologists across the nation are scrambling to explain and learn from the phenomenon.
"What really concerns me is that this type of celestial event wasn't covered at all in any of my courses," cosmetologist Scoot Bandersmith explained during a press conference held in the highlights application simulator facility at the Tennessee School of Beauty. "I've spent the past 12 months of my life studying hairstyling, skin care, cosmetics, manicures, pedicures, and even electrology, with an additional 30 hours of online research in Seasonal Color Analysis, and I have never encountered this phenomenon."
As the dust slowly settles, theories are beginning to emerge that may answer the questions raised by the eclipse and perhaps advance our understanding of blemish concealment and the prevention of chipped nail polish. Bandersmith, a master stylist with an advanced degree in theoretical cosmetology, believes that it all boils down to gravity and water. "If we accept that gravitational forces emanating from the Sun have the ability to control the movements of the planets and their satellites millions of miles away, even playing a role in sea levels all over the world, then we must also accept that these forces might alter the adherence capacities of concealers and polishes. Now that we know these things happen, the next step is designing an experiment."