|Some experts blame chronic beard neck on the Star Wars prequels trilogy|
Fishman demonstrated the impact of beard neck using functional MRI in a recent study funded by the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine that compared subjects with and without full beards. He points to one such fMRI pairing on a poster placed in one of the examining rooms in his bustling chiropractic clinic and barbershop. "The brain on the right is in a man with a glorious natural full beard. Do you see how some areas are brighter? That's the problem at a cellular level."
Beard epidemiologist James Dalton, who works at nearby Portland State University and sports an ample 9-month Garibaldi beard, believes that more than 100 million new beards were grown over the course of November. And men with new beards appear to be most at risk, particularly those attempting the audacious Bandholz style. "These are men with relatively weak neck musculature who are simply unprepared. I recommend that rookies start with something simple like a classic full beard or at most a sassy French Fork."
Once beard neck has set in, proper treatment is necessary to prevent weakened muscles and ligaments from collapsing. This will lead to bulging disks and spinal misalignment that can compress cervical spinal nerves. Pain is a common consequence, but also widespread organ dysfunction and even death.
Only a chiropractor certified in facial hair health, like Dr. Fishman, has the experience and expertise to handle beard neck related illness. "Often I can help prevent problems before they even start. And if a patient is symptomatic, appropriate treatment is almost always successful. Sadly, sometimes the beard just can't be saved and I have to recommend barbathanasia."
Dr. Fishman is currently offering a December Beard Neck special package at significant discount. Beard weighing, spinal exam and corrective treatment for only $99. Availability is limited so call and make an appointment today!