|Belvidere Chiropractor Frank Grimes, shown here not admitting any culpability in the wrongful death of a patient who fell outside of Ronda's $2 Dollar Cafe, home of the World Famous $3 Dollar Meatloaf|
The center of gravity is the point where the weight of the human body is most concentrated. The lower the center of gravity, the harder it is to topple something over. This is why a 5-foot-tall, 320 pounds NFL offensive guard is much harder to tackle than a 6-foot-tall ballerina who weighs a third as much.
As Belvidere chiropractor Frank Grimes saw more and more of his elderly patients falling down over the years, he struggled with his inability to help them. "I tried everything I could think of," Grimes explained. "At every visit I was discussing fall safety, urging them to follow basic prevention guidelines like keeping their shoes tied and clearing banana peels and loose marbles from all walkways but it wasn't helping. They were literally falling over like weird smelling human dominoes!"
Inspiration struck Dr. Grimes one day while watching a sumo wrestling match on the PBS Sports channel. He noticed that the wrestlers with lower centers of gravity were less likely to be thrown out of the ring and into the traditional Japanese pool of robotic electric eels. He immediately drove to his office workshop and got to work, forgetting to even notify the local authorities that he was leaving home after his court designated curfew.
Dr. Grimes developed a prototype for what would become the Gravity Stabilization System, or GSS, within a week. Testing started soon after. Though there were a few bumps and bruises along the way, and one out-of-court settlement on a wrongful death claim, he quickly had tens of anecdotes proving that the GSS worked. By his recollection, probably none of the elderly patients he has chosen to participate in case reports have fallen, and his work has even been featured in an advertising supplement to Online Publishing Module #5, 428: Gravity Based Chiropractic Interventions.
So far, despite glowing reviews from patients and an appearance on Belvidere Live! with Mayor Jenkins, the conventional medical establishment has yet to recognize the efforts of Dr. Grimes. But he isn't surprised. "All truth goes through three stages. Ridicule, violent opposition, and then acceptance. Galileo was assassinated when he challenged the King of England's beliefs on whether or not Pluto is a planet, but time has proven him to have been correct. It isn't a planet, not even close."
Dr. Grimes sees the GSS as his gift to humanity. In fact, he doesn't even charge his elderly patients for the device. That's a $200 value. But he cautions that although the decrease in fall risk is substantial, it isn't as simple as just putting on the GSS and reaping the benefits. "Any nerve interference, from a spinal misalignment to a minor leg length discrepancy, can reduce the system's effectiveness. Weekly spinal exams in my office are necessary to ensure that the nervous system is working at full capacity."