|Diggens native Dave Catania, shown here mere moments before initiating a cosmic chain of events that will culminate in the bloody end of all mankind|
Master Sommelier Doug Frost, a member of the Court of Master Sommeliers (CMS) and widely considered to be America's foremost expert on pairing wine with food, was formally presented a copy of the grievance in the secret underground Fortress of Sommeliers earlier today. "This is what we, the members of the Court of Master Sommeliers and protectors of mankind, have been dreading for decades. A weak and uninspired list of pairings such as this is a clear sign that the events of the great prophecy are finally at hand. We will do what we can to save humanity from the upcoming horrors, but even the combined powers of the Court of Master Sommeliers may not be enough."