Monday, May 29, 2017

Experts Urge Caution After Area Child Dies from Essential Oil Deficiency.....

Brookline, MA- Local health experts are warning parents to ensure optimum wellness after area 7-year-old Odin Barnaby Jones died from complications of an essential oil deficiency.

An advanced practice doTERRA Wellness Advocate, shown here preparing a batch of lavender and bat wing

"I can't believe he's gone," Brookline parent Trendy Bacon explained. "Our kids were playing together at Waldstein park just last week. He seemed fine, but maybe a little tired. Like maybe his body was dealing with a lot of stress and negativity. He definitely didn't have his natural radiance."

Dr. Mort Fishman, a Registered Naturopathic Diplomate at Conscious Body Natural Medicine and a Level 8 Grand Mage/Wellness Advocate for doTERRA, is warning parents that wellness is about much more than regular daily exercise and a healthy diet. According to Fishman, the power of essential oils exists at the intersection of cutting-edge science and ancient wisdom. "These oils can't be synthesized by the human body regardless of how clean their diet is or how many detox sessions they book with me at only $99 per enema."

Essential oils, which must be carefully milked from exotic plants, like bergamot and basil, while they sleep under a full moon, exert powerful and specific science effects on the human system. Although the exact mechanism is unclear, science people at top buildings believe that the essential oils gain access to the brain and core glands via blood and nerve attachments. The brain and glands are believed to control our bodies' emotions, nervous systems, and immunological processes.

Daily applications of a variety of essential oils is key to promoting wellness. What this means, according to Fishman, is that deficiencies in essential oils can result in a variety of serious ailments, like infantile equine colic and quantum fall apart. "Sadly, there are many children out there at risk whose parents don't care enough keep them alive."

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Post-Credits Scene Hints at Larger Damien Chazelle Cinematic Universe.....

Los Angeles, CA- Although the critically acclaimed 2016 film La La Land failed to take home the Oscar for best picture, it has successfully captured the imagination of fans around the world and launched a million internet theories on the meaning behind its cryptic post-credits scene.

Hollywood bad boy Miles Teller, shown here mildly amused by the sight of a blind homeless man tripping over the corpse of a large rodent, may be Earth's last hope

"Something like this could never have happened ten years ago," Damien Chazelle, the Academy Award winning writer and director of La La Land, explained. "Marvel Studios, and to a lesser extent DC Films, has really paved the way for smaller, more intimate cinematic universes that focus on personal relationships rather than fending off threats to humanity from beyond our galaxy, not that I'm ruling that out in the future."

The film's 90-second post-credits scene takes place in the back room of Seb's, a nightclub opened by Ryan Gosling's down on his luck Sebastian Wilder. A lone trumpet rests on a table, bell end down. We see a man, visible only from the chest down, walk up to the trumpet and lift it slowly and thoughtfully to his face, revealing that it is none other than Guy from Guy and Madeline, Chazelle's 2009 debut film. After playing a brief but melancholy tune, Guy turns to Sebastian, now seen leaning against a nearby wall with a concerned look on his face, and says "They're back Seb. It's time to call in Andrew." After a fade to black, "To be continued..." appears in fiery letters.

Countless theories have emerged to explain the post-credits scene. While there is little doubt that it is setting up a sequel, it is unclear just how Sebastian, Guy, and Andrew, which many are assuming to be genius percussionist Andrew Neiman from Whiplash, know each other. And who is back? One exciting theory involves the alien invaders from 10 Cloverfield Lane, which Chazelle co-wrote. Move over Avengers!