Tacoma, WA-Adding to the concerns of the majority of the world's experts on global climate, Tacoma homeopathic scientist Debra Macurley announced today that the world's oceans may become diluted to toxic levels should polar ice continue to melt.
This would almost certainly be the largest ecological disaster in the history of mankind," Dr. Macurley revealed. "The entire ocean would quickly become uninhabitable to even the hardiest creatures if the large amounts of free water predicted by many climatologists were to be added to our oceans. Levels of toxic substances could easily become so infinitesimally low that the water's memory of them would render it a deadly poison."
Dr. Macurley's stunning announcement has not fallen on deaf ears. Great Britain's Prince Charles is already calling for the dumping of large amounts of all known toxic substances into the Thames.
Woo, boy. Guess it takes all kinds.
ReplyDeleteNo! No! You've got it all wrong. "Like cures like", remember? This potential dilution of the oceans will actually be a boon to mankind, as this hyper-diluted-poison water will actually make us immune to all toxins! Let the greenhouse gases flow! We need to melt those glaciers as soon as possible!
ReplyDeleteRemember: You've got to shake the water! Shaaaaaaaake the water charlie, shake it in every direeeeeeeection.
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