Newborn Infant Declared Mean by Mother.....

Erie, PA-Erie native Sharonda Givens, who recently gave birth to a 8lb 7oz son via an uncomplicated vaginal delivery, remarked today that, based on the infant's crying during the initial attempt at breastfeeding, her baby was mean.

"That baby mean!" Ms Givens explained. "He mean. Why he crying so much? Ain't nobody messin with him."

Child psychiatrist Betrand Fleck, who was immediately consulted by the infant's pediatrician, expressed much concern after interviewing the baby and his mother. "Yes, in my professional opinion this baby is quite mean. At no point in my attempt to converse with him did he answer any of my questions. He was belligerent throughout the encounter, ceasing his crying only when being fed. This kind of narcissistic behavior is common in mean babies."

The baby, who will be discharged under continuous surveillance by local law enforcement, has been placed on a cocktail of benzodiazepines and anti-psychotic medications. He will also undergo weekly psychiatric evaluations until his attitude improves.