North Ogden, UT-Based on new information obtained by the North Ogden Police Department, investigators are searching today for a suspect in the recent spate of soiled sheets, spilled juice, crayon streaked walls, and missing items of jewelery and make-up occuring at the home of Bort and Erma Stumpwald.
"We're just exctited to finally have a lead on this case," Chief of Police Mildred Hubble explained. "Things were starting to get pretty cold until an eyewitness stepped forward with some crucial details."
Arby Stumpwald, the 3-year-old daughter of Bort and Erma, revealed to the authorities that "a pink baby giraffe climbed into my bed and went poo-poo in my bed." According to Chief Hubble, the baby giraffe likes chicken nuggets and is also a bear.
I'm saying that a better interrogation technique might help. The kid is obviously in the pay of the anti-pink giraffe movement. I have known many pink giraffes and none has ever behaved in such an anti-social manner.
ReplyDeleteOn reflection, I believe that your police force has been (unwisely) persuaded to use someone of the ilk of Derek Ogilvie as an interlocutor in this smear campaign.
Dame S
It had to be a PURPLE giraffe ... a Pink one would never ever behave in such a manner!
ReplyDeleteAre you implying that Miss Arby is a less than reliable eyewitness? I can attest that she is the model of innocence and would never fabricate a story such as this.
ReplyDeletePrecisely why I enquired as to whether an interlocutor had been involved...Either that or someone has been too generous with the gripe water.
ReplyDeleteDame S