Sedona, AZ-As more home owners are demanding eco-friendly construction materials and techniques, producers of some exotic building materials are beginning to feel the crunch, with some even going out of business.
"I don't know if I'm going to survive the Summer," specialized contractor Deet Mortenson explains. "If someone had told me ten years ago that the demand for panda bones would sink to such low levels, I would have laughed in their stupid hippy faces."
If current trends continue, experts like Mortenson believe that the housing industry will see more builders setting classic materials aside in favor of green alternatives like bamboo, cork, and sunflower seed husks. "I predict that the days of average red-blooded americans being able to count on sturdy houses made out of black rhino horn and bald eagle heads are numbered thanks to those liberal fatcats!"
I ask citizens and governments everywhere to do their part by conserving energy and reducing the use of fossil fuels for the good of the world community.
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