Friday, October 25, 2013

Love of Children Motivates Area Pedophile.....

Cincinnati, OH - When Cincinnati pedophile Marty Albright takes his daily walk, he is always sure to stop at the neighborhood park near the 2007 Chevy Express Cargo van he calls home. Why? Because he loves children.

"What can I say, I'm guilty. I'm extremely guilty," Albright explains. "I'm guilty of loving kids. Loving them a lot. A whole lot!"

And because of the special attention he gives their children, Albright's neighbors love having him around. Susannah Groves, a 37-year-old mother of two young boys and owner of the house where Albright often parks his van, is appreciative of how he is always available to babysit at a moment's notice. "In this day and age, with school shootings, internet bullying, even pedophiles, it's just nice to know that someone is watching them who will keep them safe from direct bodily injury. And when I get home the are always tucked in and quietly whimpering themselves to sleep. I don't even need to check on them!"

Albright, a vocal supporter of local youth gymnastics teams, is famous around the Mount Adams neighborhood for his festive Halloween costumes and his open van policy for children out trick-or-treating alone. Long time resident Earl Ashberry has seen a lot of pedophiles in vans during his 50 years in Mount Adams. "Pedophiles come and pedophiles go around here. Vans move on too. But that slide has been at this park since before I moved here in 1963. I reckon it'll be here long after I'm gone."

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