Dentist Organization Denies Teeth Cleaning Nanobots Part of Plan for World Domination.....

Chicago, IL- Researchers based out of the American Dental Association's (ADA) Chicago compound today announced the development of teeth cleaning nanobots, but downplayed concerns of any attempts at taking over world.

"This is a significant advance in our ability to prevent and treat a variety of dental illnesses," ADA president Charles Norman III explained. "Not only will this help Americans, and eventually the world, have cleaner teeth and fresher breath, we also know that oral health shares an intimate connection with the health of our cardiovascular system."

Actress Anne Hathaway, shown here accepting the 2013 Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role after her infamous 20 minute rant on the need to take matters into our own hands in order to prevent nanobot mind control

A number of scientists, celebrities and celebrity scientists have been speaking out against the potential use of teeth cleaning nanobots for years. Today's announcement will likely galvanize their efforts to prevent the invention from being put into widespread use. But are these nanobots really part of some sinister plot to control the minds of politicians and the wealthy elite? Is America really the jumping off point for dental world domination? ADA founder William Henry Atkinson says no.

"When I founded the ADA back in 1859, the lifespan of an average tooth was 25 years. Today it's considerably longer. We seek only to further improve upon the health of the oral cavity and all its glorious contents, even if that means using very small robots to infiltrate and control the minds of a few billion people in order to decrease intake of simple carbohydrates."

I for one can't see the harm in that. I've been having my teeth cleaned twice yearly for over seventy years and welcome advances that might help my teeth last longer and improve my hearth health in the process. I trust my dentist and the ADA. But most of all, I trust in the benevolence of Supreme Leader Atkinson. I welcome the opportunity to join the collective mind of my brothers and sisters, and to stamp out tooth decay.