More Doctors Practicing Medicine from Bed.....

Stanford, CA-Researchers at Stanford have uncovered a surprising new trend in health care. After analyzing data from what is the largest survey of American physicians to date, they announced today that a significant and growing number of doctors are practicing medicine from bed. The bulk of recumbent medical practice is taking place in hospitals, and involves resident physicians in training and hospitalists. 

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"We were quite shocked when the numbers came in," lead researcher Major Pickleberry explained. "Until now, it was believed that medical doctors provided most of the care required by hospitalized patients over their cell phones while at the gym or a nearby Starbucks, and also occasionally at the bedside. Our findings completely blow these theories out of the water for this large subset of physicians."

Many doctors are hesitant to admit that they are making medical decisions while under the covers, but not Amanda Babin, a resident in pediatrics at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. "As a resident, you have to sleep when you can. I can do almost everything from my call room anyway because there is a computer in here. And if it's 2AM, I'm not getting out of bed unless somebody is about to die because almost everything else can wait until the morning when the primary team gets here."

But residents, who have long been known to be lazy and useless, aren't the only doctors enjoying the benefits of bed-based medicine. "I round with my team from bed every morning," Baylor faculty and hospitalist Chris Rudolph revealed. "And not from home or the call room either. I put a futon in the hallway, and the residents just crowd around it. It's a couch, it's a bed, it's an integral part of the high quality patient care we provide here at Baylor! It isn't about sleep, it's about what's best for my patients."