Children's Conference Explores Possible Global Warming Countermeasures.....

Washington, D.C.- On Saturday September 23rd, a group of young children will convene in Washington to work on the establishment of a consensus recommendation for efforts to reverse the effects of climate change on global temperatures. 

A group of children having a breakout session to discuss whether a decline in documented cases of brain freeze is a surrogate marker for climate trauma 

"Climate change, much like what mommy and daddy do at night after my bedtime, is a mystery that requires sober analysis and the courage to accept hard truths," 10-year-old conference coordinator Ike Swanson explained. "Why are temperatures rising and what can we do to reduce the negative impact on our coastal communities and the loss of biodiversity? Issues like these, including the spread of tropical infectious diseases like malaria and Brazilian cooties, are making a generation of children like me wet the bed out of concern for our future."

Saturday's program will begin at 8 a.m. with a waffle bar and Roblox/Barbie breakfast. Several sessions will be held during the day which will address issues such as anthropogenic factors contributing to climate change and how forgetting to close the front door when the air conditioner is on could help limit global warming to 1.5℃ by the end of this century. The event is open to oddly advanced 5-year-old through socially delayed 13-year-old children and will be held at the National Academy of Sciences at 2101 Constitution Avenue NW.