More Hospitals are Making Some Surgical Procedures 100% Virtual

Minot, ND- As cases of novel coronavirus infections rise, more hospitals in the Dakotas are choosing to make some surgical procedures 100% virtual, such as draining abscesses, skin biopsies, and uncomplicated appendectomies, in order to keep more beds available for patients with COVID-19 and other serious conditions.

A white, male physician, shown here holding a clipboard, showing his privilege, and...I don't know...mansplaining?

"We put a lot of thought into this decision," Sanford Health CEO Bill Gassen explained. "It wasn't easy, and we all feel a bit backed into a corner here, but we have to prepare for the worst. And frankly, a lot of people do this anyway in the Dakotas. It'll be fine."

Gassen further revealed that prior to each procedure a patient will receive all necessary supplies by courier. This will include a detailed discussion of the risks and benefits of the procedure in writing, as well as technical step by step instructions, and there will be pre-recorded YouTube videos available online. A board certified medical doctor or surgeon will be available via Zoom to troubleshoot any difficulties that arise, or to pronounce death.

Despite reassurances from Gassen and other hospital system administrators, not everyone is on board with the decision. Some, like orthopedic surgeon Mort Fishman, are concerned that the new policy will result in unforeseen adverse outcomes. "What if the patient, or their designated surrogate, is unable to complete the procedure? Do I still get paid?"