Exotic Large Animal Chiropractic: A Calling That Isn't for the Faint of Heart.....

Stoneham, MA -As Frank Grimes approaches the 10,000 pound African bull elephant, he knows three things to be true. Albert the elephant, Crusher to many of the zoo's staff, has been a star at the Stone Zoo in Stoneham for more than a decade. Based on a subtle change in Crusher's gait and a pained expression during routine activities, Grimes knows that he is hurting. He knows that the cause of the elephant's pain is the misaligned spinal bone that his experienced hands had felt during an exam the previous day. 

A large animal chiropractor, shown here adjusting a misaligned spinal bone in an injured elephant using gentle pressure with the same amount of force you might use when checking a tomato for ripeness, or your eye for a CIA microchip implanted while your were sleeping

Grimes, a veteran exotic large animal chiropractor who has worked on hamsters, elephants, and practically every species in between over the past thirty years, also knows that he has the skills to provide relief. This is why he had arranged a follow-up meeting with Crusher's trainers to discuss his exam findings and propose a treatment plan. Now, with only inches between man and beast, Grimes hopes that Crusher won't live up to the nickname given to him by zoo staff after an unfortunate encounter with a storage shed a few years ago. 

This particular massive mammal, one of the largest to walk on land since the days of the giant rhino some 20 to 30 million years ago, is sedated and zoo staff are close by. But the risk to Grimes is very real. In August, an exotic large animal chiropractor who had stopped to help an injured Burmese python was suffocated and dragged into the brackish waters of Everglades National Park. The American College of Animal Chiropractors (ACAC) says that for every animal chiropractor injured or killed by a patient each year, thousands if not millions of corrective spinal adjustments won't be performed on ailing household pets and zoo animals across the country.

Whether Grimes is experiencing any anxiety isn't readily apparent. His eyes remain fixed on the elephant's enormous back as he closes the remaining distance and begins to apply steady, specific, and expertly calculated pressure on the spine. Later, over a glass of Sam Adams Lobster Lager at a nearby pub, he would walk me through his process. "I don't really see an elephant, a tiger, or even a basking shark when I'm working. I see a spine. I see the problem with the spine and then my training takes over."

The problem that Grimes and the dozen or so certified exotic large animal chiropractors in the United States see is known as a subluxation, and they aren't unique to large mammals. They aren't even unique to vertebrate species. In fact, research in hagfish on the origins of the subluxation has found evidence that their existence predates a bony spine. 

But what is a subluxation? According to Grimes, who has a habit of drinking a lot as a way to deal with crippling anxiety, a subluxation has a precise definition that is universally accepted by true experts:

A subluxation is a complex of functional and/or structural and/or pathological articular changes that compromise neural integrity and may influence organ system function and general health. I have that tattooed on my left ass cheek. No, my left. 

Chiropractors undergo rigorous training in the diagnosis and treatment of subluxations, which can cause everything from a sore back to death, and animal chiropractors attend at least a few additional conferences before applying for certification. According to Grimes, virtually 100% of the human and animal population has at least one subluxation at all times, even if they feel fine. "Yeah, it's best to get rid of 'em while they are still dormant. But you should talk to a chiropractic coroner. Those guys only call the news when a corpse doesn't have an active subluxation! I'm just yanking your spine. That's a little chiropractic humor."

A humpback whale, shown here writhing in pain because of a blowhole spasm caused by a subluxation in the thoracic spine

After performing a spinal adjustment on Albert the elephant, the one whose friends call him Crusher, Grimes walks away breathing a sigh of relief. He announces to the gathered zoo personnel that he thinks he got the subluxation but warns them that without frequent maintenance care it is likely to recur. An exotic large animal chiropractor has to focus on the wins in order to keep going, and today was definitely a win. Crusher seems to agree as he walks over to his water trough without a hint of a limp according to Scott Walker, the Zoo's Senior Veterinarian. "Yeah, I think so. I really think maybe he's more comfortable."

Exotic large animal chiropractors know that every patient encounter could be their last. They tend to take things one day at time and to not waste a lot of energy on dreams. They are practical and hardened against the realities of the profession. 

As we wrap up our interview and Grimes asks the bartender for a to go pint, he allows just a bit of what might be hidden beneath his tough outer shell to peek out like a shy turtle during a chiropractic evaluation. "My dream is that one day there won't be any humpback whales swimming in our oceans. Just...whales. Just healthy whales."