Austin, TX - Defying pro-choice critics from across the galaxy, Texas Governor Gregg Abbott signed the controversial "chestburster" bill into law earlier today at the capital building in Austin.
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| Governor Abbott, shown here using a pen he borrowed from an intern with no intention of ever returning it, says that anyone interfering with the xenomorph life cycle faces up to 10 years in prison |
"In Texas, all life is sacred," Abbott explained during a press conference held after the signing. "And it begins at implantation of a xenomorph embryo into the human esophagus, just like God intended. The Engineers may not believe in the sanctity of all life on Planet 4, but we do right here in the Lone Star State."
Opponents of the new law claim that it violates a host's right to bodily autonomy, and hundreds of protesters outside the capital today could be heard shouting during the press conference. According to pro-choice advocates, like human woman Jean Samuelson, all species deserve the right to privacy. "The choice to attempt a surgical removal of a developing stage 3 xenomorph or to be painlessly euthanized is between a patient and their surgeon or MedPod."
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| A newly erupted xenomorph (name pending, but probably something cute like Chompy), shown here enjoying a meaningful existence |
Both proponents of the new law and protesters agree that there are risks in allowing a xenomorph to fully mature in a host's chest cavity. During the press conference, Governor Abbott focused on the positive aspects of seeing the process through to eruption. "Yes, there are some risks for the human host. But when a baby chestburster flees to find a secure location in which to molt into their adult form, you are witnessing one of God's miracles of creation."
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