Monday, March 6, 2023

Controversial Thunderdome Policy May Backfire on an Increasingly Paranoid Elon Musk.....

San Francisco, CA - According to recent disclosures form an unnamed Twitter engineer, controversial CEO Elon Muk is stepping up his personal security and even hiring bodyguards to accompany him to the bathroom while at the social media company's headquarters in San Francisco.

Account Manager Jim Underdown, shown here wielding a chainsaw in the Thunderdome at Twitter headquarters

"When Musk took over Twitter he got rid of a lot of good people," the engineer, who requested to remain anonymous, explained. "The lucky ones were fired and escorted from the building, but most of them went into the Thunderdome. He actually put up a Thunderdome in the atrium, next to the cafeteria. Like in fucking Bartertown!"

Bartertown is a permanent trading settelement deep in the Australian wastelands and is home to the original Thunderdome. According to Bartertown founder Aunty Entity, the Thunderdome has few rules but nevertheless is an effective means of settling disputes that has helped her to maintain a sense of order amidst the chaos of living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. "Two men enter, one man leaves. Yes, it's simple. And yes, it's harsh. But it's also fair because there are absolutely no exceptions under any circumstances."

The official purpose of the Thunderdome in Bartertown is to maintain order by resolving personal grievances. Musk, however, has been forcing Twitter employees to face each other in an apparent attempt to whittle down the number of employees on the payroll. The anonymous engineer claims that Musk himself likes to address participants prior to combat. "He hooks them up to the bungee cables so they can bounce around the structure and grab weapons. And every time he's like, 'I know you won't break the rules, because there aren't any.' He never gets tired of that stupid joke."

As evidence of Musk's increasing paranoia over the past few months has come to light, there is no shortage of theories as to what is behind the changes. Some believe that it is the result of an interaction between Musk's son and a stalker back in December, although it is not clear that the event in question actually occurred. Aunty Entity believes that it has something to do with a lack of trust in the company's employees. "Those employees had signed contracts. Here in Bartertown when you bust a deal, you face the wheel. And that is one man who is long overdue for facing the wheel."

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