American College of Pediatricians Issues New Recommendations on Erections in Schools.....

Gainesville, FL - The American College of Pediatricians (ACPeds), a national organization of pediatricians and other healthcare professionals dedicated to the health and well-being of some children, has issued a statement containing updated recommendations on adolescent erections in schools.

An adolescent boy, shown here ashamed of his erection in algebra class, would go on to become a gay because Becky Salinger wouldn't go with him to prom

"The college was founded to specifically address concerns such as this," ACPeds President Michael Artigues explained. "We saw a need for an organization of mostly older white male pediatricians who would not be influenced by politics or common decency but who would base policies and positions on scientific truths within a framework of ethical absolutes revealed in the Bible, such as the sanctity of human life from conception to natural death, the importance of the fundamental mother-father family unit, being able to smack your kids around when they talk back, and how to compassionately discuss spontaneous erections at school in boys going through puberty."

During puberty, boys sometimes get erections unexpectedly. According to Artigues, this can be embarrassing, especially if they occur in school and without any provocation from girls that are dressed inappropriately. "We recommend letting your son know that these erections happen, are a normal sign of becoming a man, and are never his fault."

The statement, "The Unexpected Erection", published online last week, describes how adolescent boys may be uniquely impacted by spontaneous erections in schools. The policy observes that approximately 21 billion, or about 50%, of all penile engorgement events in this age group occur at school each year. ACPeds experts in childhood development and behavior are raising concerns of long term consequences when not handled appropriately.

Parents are advised to ask their teenage boys early if they are experiencing erections at school, preferably over dinner and when grandma is visiting. They recognize that erections should be seen as a family issue and not something to be isolated behind closed doors where inappropriate thoughts can begin to fester. The statement provides a number of helpful discussion starters:

1. "Hey Timmy, I noticed that your voice has deepened and that you've put on some muscle lately. Have you been having erections at school?"
2. "Did you hear that the Johnson's sent their boy to conversion camp? Sounds like he was having erections at school during gym class. Have you ever had any erections at school?"
3. "Your mother and I were just reminiscing about the time I had an erection at school sophomore year. That's how we met! Have you been having erections at school around any nice girls?
4. "Sheesh, the liberals these days and their woke agenda. Why are they always trying to force their sexuality on young children in schools. Have any teachers been talking to you about stuff like that, or maybe about erections you've been having...at school?
5. We've asked a friend from church to join us tonight to talk about a very important topic. Erections at school. Timmy, this is Pastor Bill. Pastor Bill, meet our son Timmy. We'll leave you two alone and head out to see a movie. See you in a couple hours."

 "These are important developmental years," Mort Fishman, Chief of the ACPeds Section on Pediatric Morality and author of the statement, revealed. "These teens are gaining skills in independence, while also establishing a personal relationship with Jesus our Lord and Savior and developing a moral foundation that will support them into adulthood. These erections are growth opportunities but also a point where many young men turn toward a life of sexual deviancy."

The ACPeds statement recognizes that teenagers are natural explorers. Fishman adds that puberty in particular is a time for boys to develop independence and for some to recognize their place at the head of the societal table. "We emphasize that being made to feel uncomfortable or wrong for having feelings and urges that they can't control, as long as they are within appropriate heterosexual parameters, can be a real set back."

The statement recommends that parents report any signs of potential sexual deviancy to their American College of Pediatricians endorsed local provider right away.