Nutrition Experts Weigh in on Foie Gras Baby Food.....

Chicago, IL - Researchers from the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics (AND) have released the findings of their comprehensive investigation of European foie gras-based baby foods that have increased in popularity over the past few years.

Human baby Fern Sheldrake, shown here enjoying a handful of P'tit Salaud brand foie gras-based baby food that his parents smuggled in from Paris, has already been accepted to one of the finest pre-schools in Milwaukee

"Our goal was to determine the true nutritional value of these products using a systematic approach and the most advanced technology available anywhere in the world," AND president Ellen Shanley explained. "We found that they are high in fat and calories. Very high. Just absurdly and unnecessarily high. We were all, like, this is nuts! Why is there so much fat in this baby food?"

Some experts in human health, like fully apprenticed nutritionologist Mitch Rangler, are advising parents to look beyond simplistic measurements of a food's nutrient content. "Food is more than just a collection of calories, protein, total fat, saturated fat, total carbohydrates, sugars, and sodium. I mean, just one jar of this stuff contains a month's worth of vital greases and amalgamated congealants."

Foie gras-based baby foods are not approved for sale in the United States, but they are available online from some European companies. Certain brands, thanks to the influence of high profile celebrities, have even come to be seen as status symbols in the social circles of wealthy Americans. Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo's baby Mada Enivel, who was born in a dolphin-assisted birthing paddock in January, has been seen all over Los Angeles recently covered in her favorite brand, Klein Stinkendus Kind, which Levine has shipped in weekly in the rectums of German supermodels.