Tuesday, October 17, 2023

New Study Investigates Long Term Impact of Scaring the Crap Out of Toddlers.....

Cambridge, MA - Behavioral Development researchers near Harvard have designed a study to help increase our understanding of the potential long term effects of repeatedly scaring the crap out of toddlers. 

Research assistant Glandace Muniz, shown here screaming at a toddler who didn't finish her peas, says she took the position because of a passion for making young children cry and her belief that it will prepare them for what is to come

"I simply can't stress enough how important it is for people to understand that this is purely about advancing the science of toddler behavior," lead researcher Benjamin Biscuit PhD explained. "Honestly we hardly enjoy this at all, and most days in the lab are actually pretty boring. Some days though, some days are hilarious."

The study, which involves the observation and strict documentation of the behavioral responses of toddlers who are exposed to a variety of scary scenarios, such as locking them in a room with a stranger in a monster costume or filling their Pack n' Play with Scarlet Kingsnakes, is facing significant backlash from some parenting experts. According to pediatrician and toddler social media coach Mort Fishman, studies in the lab using strict controls often don't translate to the real world. "Sure a kid might be traumatized, but you can't ignore the potential benefit of having their reaction viewed by millions of strangers if a video goes viral. You can't replicate that in a lab environment because people crave authenticity."

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