Elk Grove Village, IL- On the heels of a recent survey revealing that fewer than 5% of infants under 6 months of age are being taught to use sign language, the AAP has released a statement calling for pediatricians and other child healthcare professionals make preperations for an epidemic of stupid babies.
"We don't know how bad this is going to be yet because we only just discovered the sad reality that such low numbers of babies are being taught sign language," Dr. David Tayloe, president-elect of the American Academy of Pediatrics explains. "But it is clear that there are going to be a lot of stupid babies out there. And I mean really stupid babies."
Fighting to stem the rising tide of infant stupidity for over 20 years, the team that developed the Little Hands Program, the world's leading sign language program for infants, claims to offer the only program created by child development experts specifically for babies. Dr. Sharon Williams, co-inventor of Little Hands, reveals that "Our program is designed for all kinds of babies. Fussy babies. Stinky babies. Mean babies. And yes, stupid babies. It is especially designed for stupid babies."
Joan Renolds, a stay-at-home mother of 3-month old twins Jayden and Jalen, is convinced of the benefit of infant sign language classes. "If not for the Little Hands Program, how else would I know that my boys only want organic lactose free vanilla flavored soy based formula and to not be vaccinated?"
oh by golly Zoo,
ReplyDeleteyou are on to something BIG here.
Damn what is with all of these parents who want to teach baby signs to their babies? For sure, the flapping hands of the six month olds are sure communicating -- but their interpreters need to get a good, solid whap on the head.
now in love with you for reporting on that "organic lactose-free vanilla flavored soy based formula". Sounds like a Starbucks order to me...
Off to drink a cuppa just plain joe --
tl