Genetically Modified Baked Goods Contain 30% More Love.....

Verdon, NE-According to food scientists from the University of Nebraska's Agricultural Advancement Center, a recent breakthrough in the genetic modification of plants has led to foods, particularly baked goods, with considerably higher percentages of love.

"Everyone knows that the best meals are prepared with a little love," agronomist Norman Borlaug explains. "With use of the most advanced equipment by the world's leading scientific minds, we may soon live in a world where all recipes, from apple pie to rhubarb cobbler to peach fritters, contain nearly 30% more love than in years past."

But not everyone believes that the introduction of genetically modified crops into the food supply, even with higher levels of love, to be a good idea. Auntie Gladys McCorkle of Verdon, Nebraska, winner of the Richardson County Bake-Off three years running, has begun a letter writing campaign to put an end to the practice. "It isn't right messin' with nature like that. You just can't go foolin' with the natural order of things without brewin' up a mighty mess of trouble. Trouble like increased rates of cancer and other degenerative ailments, the breeding of superviruses with near human intelligence, and more children born with cabbage heads!"