Tallahassee, FL - With less than a week to go before Halloween and millions of children across the country swarming our neighborhoods in search of candy, Florida governor Ron DeSantis and First Lady Casey DeSantis have released a list of banned costumes in an effort to keep kids safe.
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| Governor DeSantis, shown here promoting the T-900X human/cyborg pubic image normalization unit |
"Casey and I sat down to take a look at the costumes available for children and we just couldn't believe it," Governor DeSantis explained. "It is our job as leaders of this state to curate what is and what isn't allowed. It's our job to protect children from the harms of exposure to inappropriate content, whether it's in the form of a pornographic book about the Holocaust or a Halloween costume that is racially insensitive...to white children."
Some experts in childhood development are taking issue with the banning of certain Halloween costumes, claiming that helping kids navigate this issue is a parental responsibility. DeSantis, however, is pushing back. "It's not a ban. I keep telling people that. Sheesh! We are simply enforcing a law that will put children in jail for a minimum of 6 months if they are caught wearing one of the costumes on our list. Or egging my house. Or TPing my house. And you'll get a full year if you leave a flaming bag of dog poop on my welcome mat. I'm talking to you Timmy Gunderson!"
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