Birth Plans Now Legally Binding, Supreme Court Rules.....

Washington, D.C. - In a stunning 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court has overturned a lower court's ruling and established new precedent making hospital birth plans legally binding.

Lariat Caption, shown here smiling on the outside after the SCOTUS ruling, plans to deliver her 33 week twins in a dolphin paddock like Gaia intended

"This is a victory for natal women everywhere," Justice Amy Coney Barett explained. "And if a natal women who is about to contribute to the domestic supply of infants wants a particular kind of pain control, delivery method, music, or provider ethnicity, she will have it because this is America now."

First introduced in the late 1970s as a response to an overmedicalization of the hospital birthing process, birth plans were intended to put more control back into the hands of pregnant women by facilitating communication and emotional support during childbirth. Some medical providers, like obstetrician Mort Fishman, are concerned that federal enforcement of birth plans that were not created collaboratively with a primary obstetrical care provider will fail to provide a sense of control and satisfaction or to improve outcomes. "Do I want all women to be able to give birth in microgravity, or to have access to a sample of Gwyneth Paltrow's vaginal flora, if that's what they want? Of course I do. I'm not a monster. But I work in a small community hospital and we just don't have those kind of resources."