Gainesville, FL - A group of conservative pediatricians and other healthcare professionals is warning parents to reconsider allowing their young children to participate in youth football, citing increasing evidence of future harm in a statement issued today.
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| Taylor Swift, shown here signaling her legion of brainwashed followers to rise up and swarm the Texas border with Mexico so that nothing will stop the Democrats from replacing real Americans |
"This is a statement that I honestly never thought we would need to release," American College of Pediatricians President Michael Artigues explained. "But with the malign influence of Taylor Swift on the NFL, children participating in the sport could end up exposed to liberal propaganda that might set their impressionable minds on the path to voting for a Democrat."
The new statement from the ACP has caught many parents by surprise. Artigues, who also co-authored an earlier policy guide for parents of children who are considering cutting back on their daily red meat consumption, is reassuring concerned families that there are other available parenting options. "Parents looking for safer ways to expose their children to repetitive head trauma and humiliation by an adult authority figure can always just beat them a few times a week for being lazy."
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