NASA Names First Chief of Space Chiropractic Division.....

Washington, D.C. - NASA has named Frank Grimes, DC as the first Director of its Space Chiropractic Division (SCD), which will begin offering full spinal analysis, maintenance of optimal spinal health, mission support, and management of nervous system complications related to space travel for only $59 for the first visit.

A NASA certified activator, shown here correcting a C1 subluxation in a man with stage 4 text neck, will be available for use on the ISS with an option to be set to stun or kill in case of xenomorphs

"NASA is dedicated to ensuring that our astronauts are mission ready at all times," JD Polk, NASA's Chief Health and Medical Officer explained. "And that also means doing everything we can to promote recovery after those missions have been successfully completed."

In addition to offering their services as specialists of spinal health to astronauts and other NASA personnel, the Space Chiropractic Division will also help design scientific experiments to be carried out in the microgravity environment of the International Space Station (ISS). According to SCD spokesperson Mort Fishman, DC, they will also actively participate in planning for an eventual crewed mission to Mars. "You don't tell an astronaut to stop brushing her teeth just because there aren't any dentists in space. You give her the tools and you teach her how to use them. Who knows what spending two years in microgravity will do to the communication between the brain and the various organ systems. We need to be ready for anything!"

First announced a year ago, the creation of the SCD has been well received by a chiropractic community that has fought for recognition as a legitimate healthcare field since inventor Daniel David Palmer made it all up in 1895. Grimes, who began his career as a private practice chiropractor in Belvidere, Nebraska obtained a diplomate in space chiropractic from the American Academy of Space Chiropractic in 2009 upon completion of a grueling online course and 3 weekend seminars at the Best Western Vista Inn at the Airport in Boise. "It's an honor to serve my country, and to serve as an inspiration for anyone out there looking for a way to make a difference on this planet and off of it. Like in space."