Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Solomon Grundy Calls for National Mask Mandate.....

Slaughter Swamp, NJ- Hoping to calm the fears of millions of concerned Americans as cases of COVID-19 continue to spike in most states, Legion of Doom Director of Public Outreach Solomon Grundy is calling for the White House to put a national face mask mandate into place.

Solomon Grundy, shown here discussing the differences between surgical and N95 face masks with a group of hesitant local militia members whose skulls he would later crush with a large boulder

"It's absurd that recommendations for wearing face masks have been met with resistance from certain segments of the population," infectious disease expert Mort Fishman MD explained. "The simple act of wearing a breathable material that can block droplets coughed out by someone else, or keep your droplets from reaching others, is based on science that is as solid as it gets. If a murderous brute like Grundy gets it, what the hell is Trump's problem?"
Grundy, a reanimated corpse fused with rotten swamp wood and powered by a mysterious elemental force has been a frequent nemesis of the Justice League while working on a masters degree in public health. He is calling for a nationwide face mask mandate and believes that enforcement needs to be a priority. "Masks good! Wear masks! Don't make Solomon Grundy angry! Me have cousin with asthma!"