NEW ORLEANS, LA-As the city of New Orleans continues to rebuild, and people slowly make their way back to "The Big Easy", the number of douchebags has increased steadily with some experts predicting that the upcoming Mardi Gras related surge will bring the city to nearly 80% of pre-Katrina levels.
Mayor Ray Nagin, himself a quite impressive douchebag, believes that this surge in the total number of douchebags living in New Orleans will put it on par with cities like Tampa, FL and Boulder, CO. "Everybody knows that douchebags are vital to our economy, and more douchebags coming into the city is only further evidence of our sustained viability."
"Historically, the douchebag has served as a marker of cultural and economic advancement," douchebag historian Niles Vandervoort explained. "Often the linchpin of modern metropolitan areas, douchebags are a highly valuable commodity and many cities are developing strategies to encourage douchebags to settle in their communities such as offering free Zima and barbed wire armband tattoos."
The recovery process has been long and difficult for the city, and many citizens have all but given up on New Orleans ever returning to its former glory, but Nagin has said he thinks 2008 will be a turning point. "I don't care what people are saying wherever they are. This city will be douchebag at the end of the day," Nagin revealed. "This city will be a majority douchebag city. It's the way God wants it to be."