Keyport, WA-As concerns of a causal role of mankind in rising global temperatures mount, a panel of experts in the field of cryptozoology called today for more research into the impact of animals falling outside of conventional zoological catalogs as well as for caution in jumping to etiological conclusions.
"The average dairy cow expels anywhere from 26 to 132 gallons of methane per day," respected cryptozoologist Jay Helgenberger explained. "That's a lot of methane, about what a car produces in a day in fact. If you take into account the established fact that the average sasquatch weighs roughly 2,030 pounds, I don't think you need a plaster mold of that carbon footprint to see it's pretty impressive. And don't even get me started on Nessie!"
The panel of experts made their announcement after a full week of reviewing the cryptozoological literature pertaining to global warming, and watching a number of amateur videos of the phenomenon. "I don't think even the hardiest skeptic could maintain their denial after viewing eleven hours of grainy long distance footage of El Chupacabra clearing millions of acres of rainforest." revealed Helgenberger.