Monday, May 5, 2008

Country Star Finishes High School.....

Nashville, TN-In a press conference held today while waiting in line at the Pancake Pantry on 21st Avenue, Grammy-winning country music singer Gretchen Wilson announced that she has passed her General Educational Development (GED) exam and will take part in a graduation ceremony on May 15th.

"I truly believe in the importance of obtaining an education," the 34-year-old singer of such hits as "Politically Uncorrect" and "He Ain't Even Cold Yet" explained. "And as my daughter grows up, I want her to be able to look at me as an example of how a little hard work and academic discipline can really take you places."

Wilson also plans on using the knowledge she has gained through preparing for the GED exam to take her music to new heights. She went on to reveal that "My newfound understanding of the natural laws of the universe has opened my eyes to a world of possibilities that I never knew existed before, and I can't help but allow my recent intellectual achievements to influence my writing."

Knudsen's News has obtained exclusive information on Wilson's upcoming fourth album, including a list of the songs recorded so far:

1. "You Control-Alt-Deleted My Heart"
2. "You've Caught My Eye For Now, But You Can't Know Where It's Wanderin' (The Uncertainty Principle Song)"
3. "I Selected Your Love, Naturally"
4. "Our Family's Group Velocity Exceeds the Speed of Love"
5. "Ain't Nuthin' Cuter Than an Obese Rural Neonate Ingestin' Prunus persica Off a Hardwood Floor"

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