Monday, September 30, 2013

Cutting Edge Homeopathic Journal Comprised of Nothing but Tweets.....

Berkeley, CA- A new peer reviewed journal, Expert Tweets on Homeopathy, is poised to revolutionize the way that up-to-the-minute findings of homeopathic researchers are communicated to practitioners in the field.

"A long running issue in homeopathic practice, really all forms of medical practice to be fair, is that the people on the front lines of healthcare don't truly have access to up-to-date information on new evidence," world renowned homeopathy communicator Denny Pullman explains. "We think because a new treatment recommendation is in this month's issue of Homeopathy, it is truly current. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. In the world of homeopathy, we follow where the evidence takes us and leave ineffective therapies all the time."

Homeopathy, a healing practice discovered in 1796 by German physician Hans Diffendorfer, involves the treatment of illness using natural remedies that stimulate the innate healing powers of the human body. Proponents, like Pullman, believe that this vital energy is a powerful force for healing mankind's ills and has absolutely no risk. He uses his unique gift for communicating to travel the world explaining the merits of homeopathy:
"Homeopathy is similar to taking an herbal remedy only instead of using an actual herb, a bottle of alcohol and water is briskly walked near an herb or other ingredient, and then given a stern look. The only real risk is if life saving homeopathic consultation is deferred while a patients wastes time seeking out care from a conventional doctor."
Subscribers to the journal will receive updated issues, handsomely bound in dragon scales and unicorn horn, every ten to fifteen minutes. Naturally, various spells of protection will be cast upon each issue in order to prevent unlawful reproduction. Knudsen's News has received special permission from the Grand High Order of Homeopaths to provide a few examples of the expert tweets included in the first issue of the journal, which began distribution this morning:

Grimes, Frank (@Grimeopathy). "It's insane how much healing is going on today! I dropped some 30C natrum muriaticum on a rash and boom. Three weeks later and it's not any worse!" 30 September 2013 08:15

Codswollop, Mortimer J. (@Homeopowerful). "When patients present with nose drain and pharyngodynia, I use 100C aconite. Sounds excessive but works in only 7-10 days!" 30 September 2013 09:38

McNamara, Stort (@waterislife11). "I made up some 10X pulsitillla and some 15C rhus toxicodendrum but mixed up labels. Both patients died. I'm scared!" 30 September 2013 10:01

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is well done humour far superior to that which we experience here in the UK!