Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Breaking it Down: How Americans are Treating Their Colds.....

14%- Pentobarbital induced coma for 5-7 days or until able to breathe through nose.   

21%- Home suction device powered by Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C turbocharged diesel engine on loan from the US Navy.  

25%- Time travel to point prior to onset of cold, murder past self, take deep satisfying last breath while slowly fading into non-existence.

13%- Human sized hamster ball fitted with medical-grade HEPA filtration for trips outside the house.

15%- Moving family into secret underground bunker every Winter.

Nasal irrigation with Aunt Mabel’s chicken soup (Blue Ribbon winner at the county fair in 1953, the year Maynard’s hog got into the rat poison and up and died).

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