14%- Pentobarbital
induced coma for 5-7 days or until able to breathe through nose.
21%- Home suction device powered by Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C
turbocharged diesel engine on loan from the US Navy.
25%- Time travel to point prior to onset of cold, murder past
self, take deep satisfying last breath while slowly fading into non-existence.
13%- Human sized hamster ball fitted with
medical-grade HEPA filtration for trips outside the house.
15%- Moving family into secret underground
bunker every Winter.
12%- Nasal irrigation with Aunt Mabel’s chicken soup (Blue Ribbon winner at the county fair in 1953, the year Maynard’s hog got into the rat poison and up and died).
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