Friday, January 6, 2017

Five More Dead in Latest Puppy Fever Outbreak.....

Belvidere, NE- Health officials are warning Belvidere residents to avoid pet stores, dog parks, and even dog friendly businesses as the number of deaths related to puppy fever has increased by five to over ninety people since the first case was reported in early December.

Area puppy Chester Ruffington III, shown wrapped in a light blue baby blanket and gloating over the death of his latest victim, may be the worst serial killer in Thayer county history.
"This is the worst public health disaster in Thayer county in decades," Thayer County Health Officer Mort Fishman, MD explained. "I've seen the bodies, many of which are children. Dead children whose little hearts were full of love for these God damned puppies. Love and clotted blood. It's the clotted blood that actually killed them, but the love was there."

Despite the casualties, twelve of which occurred during a therapy dog visit to the Shady Acres Home for Wayward Tots and Teens (formerly Shady Acres Correctional Facility for Wayward Youth), Belvidere mayor Spooner Jenkins has asked that residents remain calm. According to Mayor Jenkins, the town has faced hardship in the past and persevered. "I certainly don't want to downplay the deaths of so many of our beloved townspeople, but this is why you aren't supposed to feed them after midnight. Or was that the gremlins. I can't keep up."

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