Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Japanese Whale Researchers Conclude Humpbacks Still Delicious.....

Shimonoseki, Japan-A fleet of four Japanese research vessels recently embarked on a mission to investigate the reproductive and feeding patterns of whales, including up to 50 humpbacks, with plans to study just over 1,000 of the aquatic giants in order to better understand these mysterious and gentle ocean dwelling mammals.

The vessels, manned by whale researchers equipped with specially designed research tools such as large spearlike explosive projectiles connected by thick rope to a deck-mounted propulsion system. These projectiles, critical in helping the Japanese government to achieve its goal of studying enough whales to satisfy the nation's intense hunger for knowledge of these beloved sea creatures, is designed to easily penetrate the thick layers of whale fat and lodge itself in the flesh. The sharpened science spikes prevent the test subjects from dropping out of the study prior to being pulled aboard where consent is obtained prior to further research taking place.

"As soon as we received IRB approval on this we jumped at the opportunity to contribute to the existing literature regarding whales," mission leader Hajime Ishikawa explained. "Our appetite for understanding whales is not to be taken lightly. We will study whales until we fully grasp all of their delicious inner workings and behavior, even if we must study every last whale on this planet."

Katsumi Miyagi, a Japanese-American living in New York, is excited about the prospects of doing hands on research of her own. "Once you try it, and get a taste for whale research, you just want to study them all the time," she explained. "I especially enjoy studying whale with soy sauce and just a dab of wasabi. I find that they best compliment the joy of discovery."

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