Reeling Saltwater Industry Takes Steps to Improve Image.....

Cranston, RI-After decades of stagnant sales outside of industrial markets, and a colossal 2011 public relations disaster at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, the saltwater industry has hired the prestigious Howell & Jolly PR firm to improve its image.

“15 percent of all the water used in the United States is saltwater,” Howell & Jolly publicist Fran Weatherbee explains. “We know people are using it, they just aren’t speaking up. Sure we’ve taken a hit lately but we are poised to make a big comeback.”

Howell & Jolly recently issued a press release discussing a series of television and radio ads, as well as increased product placements in movies and television programs geared towards increasing public awareness. They have hired actor Josh Brolin, star of such high profile hits as The Goonies and No Country for Old Men, to help target a wider and more mature audience.

“Until now, roughly 92% of saltwater has been used to cool thermoelectric-power industry equipment,” Brolin revealed during a recent interview on The Diane Rehm Show. “Now don’t get me wrong, that’s an important service. I mean, let’s see VitaminWater cool a power plant or crack shale. But when you look deeper, really peel the onion here, there just a lot more there.”

The salt water industry is hoping that the Oscar-nominated Brolin will give the ailing liquid’s image a boost. In one ad, set to begin appearing on buses in most major American cities in June, an image of the Jonah Hex star in cowboy attire appears above the quote “I like my movies to have heart, my women fire and my water, well, I like my water with salt.”