Leading Naturopathic University First to Offer Degree in Integrative Anatomy.....

Kenmore, WA- Adding to their already considerable educational offerings, such as acupuncture and psychic optometry, this Fall Bastyr University will be the first to offer a doctoral degree in Integrative Anatomy.

Bastyr Integrative Anatomy students won't be limited by Western scientific dogma

"We saw a long overdue opportunity to advance our understanding of human anatomy," recently appointed president Dr. Charles "Mac" Powell explained. "It just makes sense to update this stagnant area of study with the principles and practices of naturopathy. Who's to say that there are just two kidneys, or only one spleen? Has anyone looked for other organs?"

Obtaining a doctoral degree in Integrative Anatomy will require successful payment for a comprehensive, four-year program that combines the most rigorous aspects of intuitive awareness with a pile of old x-rays somebody found in the basement over the Summer. The first two years will cover basic anatomy from the perspective of various homunculi used by 16th century alchemists. At the end of the first two years, each student will perform an interpretive dance that takes faculty members on a journey of discovery to find their spirit organ.

With an intimate awareness of the human body gained, the remaining two years will be spent in Bastyr's cutting edge research facility. Their anatomical investigation will incorporate the senses of vision, hearing, touch, taste, and smell. A possible sixth sense, to be determined by course elder Mort Fishman based upon the results of a quantum vibrational analysis and saliva hormone levels, may be added in the future. Fishman will serve as a guide for the duration of each student's educational narrative. "There is nothing more rewarding than seeing that look of recognition and understanding on a student's face when they locate their first meridian."