Columbia, SC-A large crowd has formed outside of a downtown Columbia diner today as more and more scientists are arriving to catch a glimpse of what many are calling the Danish Darwin.
Just hours ago, while preparing to open the diner that has been in her family for 5 generations, Rhonda Huxley grabbed a day old cheese danish out of a countertop display case. What Rhonda didn't know was that this simple action would soon put her, and this very special pastry, in the middle of an event of scientific proportions.
"I didn't know who it was," Huxley explained. "It just looked like an old man with a scruffy beard. But there's this guy Jim who eats here who knows everything so I saved it to see if he could figure it out."
What Jim Balhoff, a custodial engineer at nearby Columbia Community College, saw when he gazed into the cheese filled concoction of flour, milk, yeast, eggs and butter, was a perfect likeness of Charles Darwin, the man who first proposed and provided scientific evidence that life has evolved over time from common ancestors through the process of natural selection. Balhoff revealed, "I saw him on an episode of The 700 Club. They had a cartoon where he marries a monkey and then they have monkey babies. I didn't come from no monkey!"
As word spread through the scientific community, researchers from a variety of fields have been making their way here to view the image of Darwin. "I just had to see it up close," zoologist Derick Sazuki explained. "I had to bask in its presence, to soak in its healing essence."
A makeshift encampment has been built by the growing mass of scientists and throughout the crowd there can be heard expressions of joy and exaltation. Many of these men and women faint upon the sight of the danish, some even erupting into long sequences of ones and zeros. A number of scientists, upon touching the pastry have thrown away their glasses claiming to have restored vision. One man stood straight, he claimed, for the first time in years because his scoliosis was completely corrected. "It's a vastly improbable occurrence! I give my life to you!"