Washington-Sending shockwaves across the nation, a new study released today by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration reveals that a significant percentage of the 10.8 million underage drinkers in America have been obtaining alcohol from adults, including their parents.
"We just didn't see this coming," acting Surgeon General Steven K. Galson explained. "Who would have thought that these kids were turning to adults to acquire ethanol for illegal consumption. This changes everything."
The results of the nationwide survey go against the grain of current accepted thinking on the subject of underage drinking. Until now, epidemiologists had believed that teens and adults under the age of 21 were making use of an underground network of moonshine production and distribution run by adolescent hillbillies. That and atheists.