Baton Rouge, LA-Local bass player and freelance conversationlist John Bossier was lobotomized today during a routine dental check-up when a minor clerical error occured during the filing of form A74-9.
"Nothing like this has ever happened before," Ed Sutton, office manager of Dental Dan's House of Dentistry, explained. "But I'm starting to question why we even include the option of lobotomy on the patient information forms. It isn't even a dental procedure."
The error appears to have occured when Mr. Bossier, who has been reduced to a childlike state of giddy abandon after having the connections to and from his prefrontal cortex hacked away with the use of a standard universal curette, a dental tool that is more commonly used to scrape deposits from teeth enamel, checked a box requesting a lobotomy in addition to a standard cleaning and xray imaging package. "I like horsies!"
Bossier's mother, who plans to keep the former collector of hand-painted tin soldiers locked in a cage in the basement of their family home, remains upbeat in the face of such a devastating setback. "A lot of people would have trouble finding the silver lining in all of this. But despite having a significant portion of his brain severely and permanently impaired, John has already found new ways of communicating. He can point to the things he wants, he laughs when he's happy, he cries when he's sad, and when he's scared he tinkles."
Friday, June 13, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Zoo, keep them honest. Those damn dentist. No wonder we are all so scared to go see them.
Y'know, it is really simple: an icepick, aimed at the thalamus. Sweet. Nevermind that pesky, temporary black eye and who the hell needs a thalamus anyhow? Nobody knows what it does anyhow but without it, happiness ensues.
Love this kind of do-it-yourself brain surgery.
Post a Comment